Money as a Consequence and not a Cause of Relationship Issues
It is one of the more regrettable aspects of human nature that people apply blame to innocent associates and things for their own abhorrent behavior. This is not a new phenomenon, as examples of such conduct can be traced back hundreds of years. For example, the renowned phrase ‘money is the root of all evil’ is an adaptation of the bible verse ‘the love of money is the root of all evil’, which is a clear criticism of greed and how it creates deceit and ill judged conduct within society.
However, the contemporary adaptation of this phrase suggests that it is money which stands as the significant factor in all that is wrong with the world, and not the people who handle and abuse it. This is an entirely inaccurate and irresponsible conclusion, as it absolves individuals of their duty to spend and save money responsibly. A simple phrase it may be, but its meaning is a clear indication of the blame culture that exists with regards to personal finance and expenditure.
The concept of financial infidelity is a further example, and is the process of one person keeping financial secrets and trends from their life partner. Instances of this behaviour seem to have increased during the global recession, which suggests that people have taken to creating their own individual financial safeguards even within a relationship of marital environment. There may be may potential reasons for this, but these issues are more likely to be the cause of the deceit rather than the presence of money itself.
The statistics are revealing. Approximately 31 percent of US citizens actually considered themselves to have committed a form of financial infidelity, whereas 80 percent confessed to spending money covertly through cash or credit card purchases. The two are very separate entities, as they traverse the gap between those who enjoy an occasional, private shopping trip and those who live a dual life of financial commitment and expenditure.
Many would argue that these incidents provide examples of the issues that money can cause within a relationship, but money is in fact a significant requirement in order to remain fed and in the particular comfort we have grown accustomed too. Its presence is a necessity, and therefore it only becomes a divisive issue once people begin to use it irresponsibly or in a deceitful and secretive manner. This is not due to the existence or presence of money, but a clear consequence of underlying trust or communication issues already present within a relationship.
When analyzing the reasons why people spend or save secretly, it is clear that they are the corollary of longstanding relationship issues between two people. For instance, one person may be creating covert saving accounts or funds because they believe their partner to be incompetent with handling money. This may be the case, but the actions of deceit and falsehood clearly betray an obvious lack of trust that can not communicated between two people who are supposedly committed to one another.
The same is true of those who spend irresponsibly or without consideration, and have individual credit cards but joint streams of income with their partner. This can not only lead to the shared burden of debt within a relationship, but also represents a distinct lack of respect from one individual to their partner. In both instances, money is merely the tool through which people display unfavorable aspects of their nature, and subsequently reveal prominent issues that could severely damage or disrupt an existing union.
Couples caught in these cycles of financial infidelity and mistrust should understand this, as it will help them assess the true problems that afflict their relationship. It is all too easy to apportion blame to something without dealing with the real causes and effects of an issue, as this often saves a great deal of painfully honest communication between two people. This process is necessary to conflict resolution however, and ensuring that slight differences between people do not become more significant distractions.
While some would cite financial infidelity as an example of how money can influence a relationship, this is clearly misunderstanding the issue. It is more a reflection of underlying and existing problems within a union, which manifest themselves through deceitful and irresponsible behavior. Money, as a necessity of life, is bound to be affiliated to peoples problems and disagreements, but this does not make it the primary cause of ill judged or immoral acts. It should be understood in its proper context, as a resource that is at the mercy of everyone within society, and simply a way for people to display individual behavioral trends or discontent with their partner.