It is one of the more regrettable aspects of human nature that people apply blame to innocent associates and things for their own abhorrent behavior. This is not a new phenomenon, as examples of such conduct can be traced back hundreds of years. For example, the renowned phrase ‘money is the root of all evil’ is an adaptation of the bible verse ‘the love of money is the root of all evil’, which is a clear criticism of greed and how it creates deceit and ill judged conduct within society.
However, the contemporary adaptation of this phrase suggests that it is money which stands as the significant factor in all that is wrong with the world, and not the people who handle and abuse it. This is an entirely inaccurate and irresponsible conclusion, as it absolves individuals of their duty to spend and save money responsibly. A simple phrase it may be, but its meaning is a clear indication of the blame culture that exists with regards to personal finance and expenditure.
The Concept of Financial Infidelity
The concept of financial infidelity is a further example, and is the process of one person keeping financial secrets and trends from their life partner. Instances of this behaviour seem to have increased during the global recession, which suggests that people have taken to creating their own individual financial safeguards even within a relationship of marital environment. There may be may potential reasons for this, but these issues are more likely to be the cause of the deceit rather than the presence of money itself.
It is well known that divorce lawyers enjoy their busiest period in the immediate aftermath of Chistmas and the New Year. The reasons cited are numerous, and there are several subsequent theories as to why relationships and marriages should suffer throughout the festive period and advent of a brand new year. The issue with decision making and definitive resoltuions around this time period is that they may be the subject of an emotive reaction and poorly considered concepts.
As divorce statistics remain at approximately 48 percent in the US, there is an ever increasing focus on the reasons given for seperation and the termination of long term union. This is due to concern that although more and more individuals are facing singledom in the country, the population continues to swell unabated, and therefore the impact and worth of family values are becoming lost amongst a swathe of poorly judged decisions and emotive reactions to stressful or problematic situations.
Reasons for Seperation in the New Year
The New Year is a time well known for personal resolutions and lifestyle modifications, as people throughout the US strive for a prosperous and improved year ahead. This tradition has evolved over time and become far more significant within contemporary culture, with the 1st of January now utilized as a psychological watershed and a beacon for hope and regeneration. This is especially true where people are emerging from a year of tumult, most pointedly with regards to their personal lives and financial issues.
Of all recorded cases of separation and divorce in 2009, there are a small but not insignificant number of relationship breakdowns that have cited Facebook and other social networking sites as contributing factors. Social networking sites are of course a contemporary phenomenon, allowing users to interact and interface with friends and family on a regular and daily basis and share their lives on a global platform.
In terms of dating, the sites themselves are used with increasing regularity as platforms to meet potential partners, for either fun or a long lasting union. This evolution of the social network has led to incidents of infidelity or inappropriate flirting between friends or individual who meet through the site, and this alone is a cause of conflict in relationships. The key issue is whether the social network encourages infidelity and detrimental behaviour to a relationship, or simply makes it more likely for this conduct to be seen and discovered.
For children, Christmas is an exciting and wondrous time. While this is true for many adults as well, Christmas can also be a stressful and financially testing time for those who have to accommodate its costs. The main issue associated with a modern Christmas is that while a family’s income remains the same, the levels of expenditure soar to incorporate the costs of presents, food and beverages.
It is little wonder then that US divorce solicitors note the immediate aftermath of Christmas as their busiest time. Whether the financial burden of the holiday period has proved a stress too far, or an individual has simply postponed separation until Christmas has been enjoyed by their children, a large number of divorce proceedings are set in motion at the turn of a new year.
Divorce is an inevitable consequence of modern life, as evidenced through the fact that approximately 4 out of 10 marriages end in the surroundings of a court room. While the process itself is distressing, it is nothing compared to the potential fall out that follows, and which often afflicts children and impressionable family members in addition to the couple themselves.
Whatever the reasons raised and cited in a divorce petition, the emotional pain and distress incurred through separation can breed bitter acrimony. It is a widely held theory that love and hate are close and uncomfortable neighbours, and the gradual transition from life partners to separate entities often traverses these boundaries. Where children are involved, they are impressionable and perceptive enough to absorb and take on board vast swathes of these negative feelings and emotions.
Differences in relationship expectations and each individual’s aspirations in life are often a primary cause of divorce. While it may not be the cited as the main reason in a relationship breakdown, it is often the trigger for acts such as physical or emotional infidelity. This is because the realization within a couple that they are completely incompatible and without a single purpose can breed resentment and apathy between individual partners, and leave them seeking an outlet for love and affection.
In many ways, whatever conduct and behaviour is encountered during the decline of a relationship, a long term incompatibility is the most debilitating to a couples union. Where individuals that are joined in matrimony find themselves at odds over their future ambitions, there is often no compromise that can be made without leaving one or both of the individuals dissatisfied. This type of conflict is therefore the most difficult to resolve, as couples who cannot compromise with each other are unable to get their relationship back onto some form of common ground.
There is an ever increasing focus on the divorce rates experienced throughout the US in contemporary society. Though the rates for first time marriages have steadied over the last year just beneath the 50 percent figure, the rates of divorce experienced amongst people who are marrying for the second or third time is recorded as substantially higher.
The figures are startling. From 50 percent, the rate of divorce leaps to 67 percent in the case of second marriages, and an incredible 74 percent where one or both of the partners are marrying for the third time. These statistics suggest that there are many potential issues that face couples which include a partner who has already been through the processes of divorce.
The concept of sexual freedom and liberty emerged from the carefree attitudes of the 1960’s, where many nations of the world finally emerged from the debris of the Second World War and their people began to enjoy their lives. This prevailing attitude was a consequence of liberation and civil rights movements in many areas of society, with innovations in culture, pop music and politics all lending themselves to a more forgiving, tolerant and experimental weave of communities.
What is strange however, is that while the general attitudes to sex and sexual freedom have remained relaxed and liberal in western civilisation, there are more and more couples who are experiencing relationship threatening issues with this aspect of their lives. This is can be seen through the disproportionate number of divorces that are caused by infidelity and the acts of sexual promiscuity. With an estimated total of 17 percent of all divorces citing these reasons as the primary influence in instigating proceedings, there are questions as to why couples cannot find sexual satisfaction in such liberal and well informed times.
Aside from the core factors that have traditionally sounded the death knell for relationships (such as infidelity and unreasonable or violent behaviour from one partner to the other), other issues are becoming pertinent in disrupting marital harmony.
An increasing percentage of the divorce rate number is made up of couples who have cited issues with in-laws as the primary cause of the separation. Of these, conflict between the wife and her mother in-law is the most prominent, with a minimal number of cases even including instances of violence. Another common problem of this type is conflict between a partner and their brothers or sisters in-law, typically concerning jealously and the disruption of previously close sibling relationships.
Infidelity is the single biggest contributor towards divorce throughout the world, and stands as a serious issue across a diversity of cultures. In the US in particular, 2009 statistics revealed that 51 percent of divorce petitions cited infidelity as their primary cause, with 41 percent of these involving cases where both partners have committed the acts of adultery. As these figures show, once a relationship has endured such betrayal it is particularly difficult to recover from, and although not impossible such rehabilitation requires commitment, communication and a determination to discover the initial cause of such activity.