August 19, 2013
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We all have huge personal goal we want to accomplish: A big, challenging, amazing goal. We think about it, dream about it, obsess about it… but we never accomplish it.
That could be because we also talked about it, because according to some studies, people who talk about their intentions are less likely to follow through on those intentions.
Say you want to thru-hike the Appalachian Trail, a grueling five- to seven-month trek from Georgia to Maine. (Having completed about 2% of it, I’m not so well on my section-hiking way, much less thru-hiking.)
You’re having dinner with friends and you tell them all about it. "Oh, wow!" one exclaims. "That sounds amazing. But won’t it be super hard?"
"Indeed it will," you say, puffing out your chest, and you share what you know about tent sites, shelters, infrequent showers, and the cool trail name you’ll get.
It’s fun. It feels awesome to bask in the glow of people who admire you for wanting to take on such a huge challenge.
It feels… it feels like you’re already on the Trail.
It also means you’re less likely to someday be on the Trail, because according to this study, "When other people take notice of an individual’s identity-related behavioral intention, this gives the individual a premature sense of possessing the aspired-to identity."
In short, you already got a huge kick out of people thinking of you as a Trail hiker… so now you’re less motivated to actually be a Trail hiker.
Sounds counterintuitive, right? Aren’t we supposed to share our intentions so other people can support and motivate us?
According to NYU psychologist Peter Gollwitzer, one of the authors of the study, that’s not always the case. Gollwitzer thinks the issue lies in our sense of identity. Each of us wants to be certain things, so we naturally declare those intentions even if we have not yet become those things.
Describing how I plan to run a marathon, how I bought running shoes and joined a gym and created a training plan, certainly makes me feel good… but it also makes me feel like I’m already part of the way to being a marathoner even though I haven’t trained at all.
Sometimes declaring what we want to be and how we will get there causes us to feel we are farther along the path of becoming who we want to be, and therefore makes us less motivated — even though we’ve actually done nothing but talk.
So try it. Pick a goal. Create a plan to achieve it. Get help, get guidance, get input from other people who have accomplished that goal… but otherwise keep your goal and your plan to yourself. Don’t talk about it: Focus solely on doing the work required to achieve your goal.
Then, when you do achieve your goal, hey, feel free talk all you want. If nothing else you’ll enjoy how surprised your friends are when they realize you’ve accomplished something awesome, something they didn’t even know you were attempting.
But my guess is you won’t talk about it, since the personal satisfaction of achievement is infinitely sweeter than public acclaim.
I also write for Inc.com:
9 Simple Ways to Be Happier At Work
Bad Day? Easy Ways to Feel Better About Yourself
8 Things You Should NOT Do Every Day
(photo courtesy flickr user craig.letourneau photography)
Featured on:Your Career
Posted by:Jeff Haden
via Want to Achieve a Huge Goal? Start by Shutting Up | LinkedIn.
