It is amazing, how money, economics, finance, social status and elite have shaped the social norms, that have become such a deeply embedded part of our thinking, psyche, approach, talk and behavior, that even the most liberal, progressive and independent people, thinkers, writers, leaders and intellectuals cannot identify the innate bias in these approaches and the continuous harm done by these, both on individual and social levels. It’s examples are numerous and visible all over the society, which proves that real human freedom of thought, speech and action has a very long way to go. These are the result of millions of years of influence of vested interest and probably will take a very long time to wear off. Take the example of most basic human relationship, sexual. In the beginning the sex was totally free, just like animals. I am not sure, if just like animals is a good analogy, because, as per the linguistic norms, anything like animals is supposed to be inhuman. Then the thinking of mine and thine evolved and powerful males and females, started to claim ownership rights on each other. Depending on how powerful a person was, it became my woman or women and my man or men. No one else should even touch them. Then with the evolution of social authority (government) and moral authority (religion), this possession was institutionalized as marriage. Once you have it with each other, you should become loyal to each other for the rest of your lives and it must be sanctioned by social and religious authority. Once the institution of marriage or institutionalized sex, was created, gradually, economics started to shape it. Marriage became a great source of holding and multiplying the wealth. It took two main courses, with many sub categories. 1. Family Oriented: This approach was meant to keep wealth in family. It had four main categories with different hybrids existing side by side a) Incest: It is a very bad thing now, but in primitive cultures, siblings would marry each other or parents would marry their kids to keep wealth or in case of royal families, power within the family. b) First Cousin Marriage: Still allowed in certain cultures and religions. was an effective way to keep it all in the family. c) Polygamy: It’s philosophy was simple. More wives, more sons, more hands, more productivity, more wealth. d) Polyandry: This term may be new to some people. It means, multiple husbands. It is still practiced in some parts of the world. More than one men, mostly brother, but not necessarily, share same wife. Since, in most cultures, the wealth was supposed to be divided between brothers, all sharing one wife and having kids with one woman meant, it will all stay in the family. The biggest problem with this approach was that because of limited number of heads and pool of genes talent, intelligence, organization, management and hard work, necessary to maintain and grow the wealth, was not guaranteed. Hence, cultures having this approach were ultimately left behind in progress and global competition between cultures. 2. Class Oriented: These cultures realized, very early on, the hazards of keeping it all in the family. But, the elite did not want to dilute their wealth by sharing it with everyone, either. So, they divided their societies into two classes, elite and commoners, and created the approach to keep it all in the class. These cultures banned polygamy, polyandry, incest and first cousin marriages, all the ways to keep it in the family. Free sex and prostitution were either banned or considered as stigma, effectively reducing the chances of dilution into commoners. Only marriages allowed were, strictly within same class that is rich marry rich and poor marry poor, so that rich remains rich and poor remains poor. These out of family, but, within same class marriages did not only kept it within same class but they were also the earliest forms of social networking. Marriage meant that not only the wealth, but also the critical social resources to grow the wealth were combined between two already rich families. You can also call it as an early form of merger and acquisition. The family members from both families, their neighbors, friends, business customers and business partners, all were united and helped each other in growing the business empire. This also provided ever widening and inter-mixing of genetic pool, generating lots of talent and better minds, from evolutionary point of view. This proved to be very beneficial, both in short and long run, and the cultures that adopted this class oriented approach in marriage grew much faster than family oriented cultures and ultimately dominated the competition. Now when these originally class oriented cultures are dominating the world, under the influence of globalization, monogamy is becoming word of the day. But is this the human nature? Is it in line with ideals of liberty? Has it solved the sex related issues or it has made them worse? We all are so attached to it because it is logical or just because that’s the way we grew up? or that is what we were told or that is the way it has always been? Or because monogamous relationship sounds more secure for women? Or that is what all feminists say? Give a brief, realistic and thoughtful look to the facts, hard cold facts, and than decide. In spite of all the social, cultural, traditional, religious and legal restrictions, cheating, prostitution and incest are rampant in all parts of the world. Because they are restricted and are generally considered as stigma, they are done in a hidden, secretive and abusive way. Every society bears the short and long term physical, psychological, social, economic and financial consequences of these secretive and abusive activities. If the involved people are consenting adults, why does it still matter that who is doing what with whom? Is it short term or long term? Is it with a relative or not? Is it with one person or multiple people? Is it paid for or not? With same sex or other sex? Think and answer.
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