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Ethics: Public and Private Life




New York congressman Anthony Weiner, finally resigned, after a prolonged scandal and tug-of-war in media. These kind of issues surface every once in a while and start same kind of heated discussions, every time. Above and beyond all, they definitely provide really juicy stuff for media to report and whine about. Whether they are regarding politicians or other celebrities, news channels and anchors would spend hours and hours talking about these scandals; news papers and magazines would dedicate pages after pages, articles after articles and news after news for this kind of stuff. Until this gets to the level that the scandal becomes a topic of discussions in every break room, at every workplace, in every home, at all parties and gatherings, even in all meetings and conferences. It is insane, and drives me crazy, sometimes, when I think that this is all we have to report, talk, discuss, think and worry about, while, billions of people in the world are hungry, suffering under poverty, unemployed and jobless, getting killed in wars and losing homes?

Regardless of anything, these stories do have many aspects. First and the most important aspect is that the spouses and family are definitive victims. I, and we all, feel sorry for them. In this particular case, I really feel for the poor woman who is married to him for about a year and is pregnant with their first child. What a pity and shame?

Voters, constituents, fans, supporters, and workers and volunteers, also, get seriously disappointed. People who have passionately worked and supported, and donated time and money, feel totally betrayed and lost. My sympathies for them, too.

The way Weiner and others, who were and have been caught in this kind of situation, lie, deceive, try to dodge and hide the facts and straight talk, makes the situation even more complicated. This is because lying is unforgivable and the person lying in this matter is likely to lie in other matters, too. So, how can you trust this person with anything else, specially the national legislation?

But, the debate, how much should private life affairs, effect a person’s public life and job, is still heated and worthy of consideration. On one side the argument is that the person who cheats in private life is likely to cheat in public life, too. People on the other side maintain that the private life must remain separate from public life and should never affect your public life or job.

To find an answer, we have to do some in depth analysis of the question, and situation.

There were times when religion and religious hierarchy was the ultimate authority in almost every society of the world. All religions were based on certain ideology that was supposed to divine and had to be followed by everyone, exactly, as sent by God. Certain ethics, based on certain assumptions, and needs and values of the times, were the integral part of the religious ideologies. Among them, common in almost every religion of the world, was the concept purity of blood. It was based on several principles and assumptions.

Class system, and demarcations and boundaries based on class system existed and were very important in almost every earlier society. It was firmly believed that certain important characteristics like looks, personality, character, moral and ethics are inherited and any mixing of blood was assumed to be likely to mess up and blur that demarcation and discrimination. If royal and common blood got mixed, for example, then no body knew that how much of that blood was royal and how much was common? Which qualities from royal blood were inherited and which were missed and what parts of commoner mess-up were inherited and which one were luckily missed? That is why a system needed to be devised which was supposed to be guaranteed to keep these lines of inheritance separate. So, no pre-marital sex, which was hard to keep track of. No marriages between different classes or different tribes, clans and even families of the societies. Since these kind of restrictions were originally meant to keep boundaries, and people separate and segregated, they were often extended to things like no marriages with people of other religion, culture, traditions, color and geography, even if they belonged to same class. To further assure this separation and segregation, restrictions like prohibition of polygamy were also made. They didn’t want to extend this segregation to the level that people and families become totally independent religious leaders, so, the terms like incest were invented and sex and marriages between close relatives and family members were banned. Hence, every sexual relationship had to publicly declared and approved (marriage) and in many religions and societies it had to with only one person for the rest of your life, unless that person died or you killed him. That is, how far the religious and traditional cultures went to preserve the classes, in the name of purity of blood.

The punishment, among many could be up to the death penalty, in many cases. In spite of all the cruelty and strength, with which these rules were enforced, two things kept happening without any break or exception. One, people kept violating these rules and violators, with an overwhelming proportion included the people who were supposed to enforce these rules, namely, the religious leaders and priests, and political leaders. Two, there always existed a group or groups in every society, that tried to change these rules. To suppress these two trends, the people at the helm of affairs, had to do something more drastic to assure the compliance. So, they came up with the bright idea of tying everything in a person’s life to the compliance. If you do not comply, then, you lose everything in your life. Your spouse and family; reputation, respect and chastity; job and business; anything you can imagine of and is dear to you. This had much more dramatic effects then any other punishment or cruelty. Nobody wanted to lose everything in his or her life and very few would risk it. Other effects it had was that it raised the level of hypocrisy to an unprecedented level. Forced by nature, people would violate these rules but publicly criticize any non-compliant behavior and the violators. When caught, they would do anything, including lying and deception to safeguard everything they had in their lives.

With the passage of time, and continuous, hard and unending efforts from critics and opposition of these rules, many of those are rendered ineffective or loose. People are now openly performing pre-marital sex and even cohabiting without marriage. They have kids out of marital bonds and these kids usually do not carry a taboo, like before. People are talking about and even practicing polygamy. Multiple sexual partners are getting more and more common. People are talking about or even violating the rules regarding incest. People are hardly ever fired for the reasons related to their private life, specially sexual life, or for cheating their partner or spouse, unless they hold a public office. It is the irony of this situation that rules which were made to keep commoners compliant, are now being strictly enforced only on powerful and famous.

Right or wrong, this commonly causes distraction from much more important matters, every now  and then. and in many case, Monika Lewinsky case for example, lots of precious national and tax payer resources are wasted on these cases. It has also caused a temporary or permanent loss of some exceptionally talented and gifted people from public service.


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Born in 1964, business owner, from Woodbridge, VA, owns ExcitingAds! Inc. ( and blog ( He was born in Mirpurkhas, Sind, Pakistan. His elementary school was ST. Michael's Convent High School, Mirpurkhas, Sind, Pakistan. Graduated high school from ST. Bonaventure's Convent High School, Hyderabad, Sind, Pakistan. His pre-med college was S. A. L. Govt. College, Mirpurkas, Sind, Pakistan. Graduated from Liaquat University of Medical and Health Sciences, Jamshoro, Sind, Pakistan in 1990. Earned equivalency certification from Educational Commission for Foreign Medical Graduates, Philadelphia, PA in 1994.

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