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Surviving Emotional Infidelity in Relationships

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It is estimated that 40 percent of current marriages will end in divorce in the US, especially if the trends displayed throughout 2009 and 2010 continue. This is one of the highest rates documented in the western world, and is surprising given the liberal nature of US union and the resources that exist in terms of guidance and counselling should issues arise. In order to understand this unusually high rate, it is pertinent to assess the most common factors cited in contemporary divorce.

While fidelity is an often discussed and debated reason for marital conflict and separation, this generally refers to the acts of physical infidelity. This is when one or both individuals in a marriage indulge in a physical relationship with a third party, and is suggested to account for over 30 percent of divorces in the US. However, a less known and potentially even more divisive example of this practice exists, and is referred to amongst experts as emotional infidelity.

What is Emotional Infidelity?
 Emotional infidelity is where an individual within a relationship forms an emotional attachment to a third party, which is often entirely inappropriate or insensitive to their partners feelings. This concept is a growing issue within contemporary relationships, and its consequences can often be far more damaging than mere physical infidelity, especially in terms of reconciliation. The main reason for this is that its cultivation suggests a deeper relationship between the adulterer and their companion, and one that is far more consequential than a merely physical one.

Secondary to this, it is not a concept wholly understand by individuals or within relationships. In terms of individual comprehension, it is an issue that has been proven to be well understood amongst females, who are far more observant of and sensitive to behavioral trends and modifications. In contrast to this, statistics have suggested that the majority males are either sceptical or unaware of the concept, and perhaps their opinions are influenced by an inherent lack of definition and physical corroboration.

This is the most challenging and difficult aspect of emotional infidelity, as it is almost impossible to define by corporeal deed or motive. Whereas physical infidelity has clear boundaries and acts which reflect its purpose, its emotional equivalent is something which can be different for every situation, and is without any specific feat which is accepted as core to its being. This is one of the reasons why it  is so detrimental to a relationship, as the suggestion of its mere presence is by itself enough to prompt conflict.

Understanding Emotional Infidelity
 Should this occur within a relationship, it needs to be understood fully before the issue can be resolved. The first thing to surmise is that, given the accepted psychological and emotional differences between men and women, the gender of the perpetrator is significant. As males are known to find it easier to separate sexual acts and love, any external relationship or attachment is simple to assess in terms of whether it is a physical or purely emotional one, and therefore provides more hope for resolution.

In contrast, women are suggested to affiliate sexual activity directly with love, and therefore infidelity on their part is far more difficult to define, as it is most likely to feature both emotional and corporeal elements. In this instance, far more communication and discussion is required to ascertain the chief cause behind the infidelity, which creates a more intense and time consuming period of reconciliation. However, this will at least define the exact nature of the infidelity, and go some way towards addressing it accordingly.

Once this is ascertained, a couple need to the determine the issues with triggered the acts of emotional infidelity. Again, there are potential causes which are more relevant to specific genders, which are relative to the inherent understanding of the concept. Women are most likely to commit emotional infidelity in the pursuit of affection and attention, which is perhaps not forthcoming from their spouse. In contrast,if you assume that many males disregard or fail to comprehend the nature of emotional infidelity, then they are more likely to commit this either to satisfy their ego or as a reaction to a  subtle sexual attraction

Recovering from Emotional Infidelity
These processes are crucial to giving a couple definition to the acts of emotional infidelity, and indicating the factors which  are unique to each situation. By assessing the adulterer and understanding the reasons for their discretion through the process of discourse and honest communication, it is possible for a marriage to emerge stronger and fortified through the acts of reconciliation from emotional infidelity. Though it is often a longer road of recovery than that which is affiliated with purely physical infidelity, its complexity can help individuals learn more about themselves and their relationship.

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