I drew this: http://i.imgur.com/qWiqFwQ.png
I was originally wasn’t going to post this anywhere public because I don’t like how I drew it but I felt like other people have felt like this before too.
Probably not the place for this but god damn it, WHATEVER. I’m going through hell. For the past 8 years or so my mom has been fighting different cancers and now it’s the last few months we have with her, we don’t know if she will be with us for the holidays. To think that the first person I will see die is my own mother is terrifying. And it won’t be a pretty death, I’ll just say that. I can’t move out and just get away from everything, I need to be here to be with her while I still can. I’m 19, This isn’t supposed to happen so early.
My mama is pretty immobile, can’t walk even with a walker. I have to help her go to the restroom and take showers and take her medicines and get her food(she can’t eat, she has a tube that goes to her stomach.) and take her blood pressure and so on… and it is hard. I probably don’t have the right to "complain" since I’m not the one who is slowly dying.
Everyone in the house is fighting and yelling at each other and is stressed to the max. I’ve had a history with depression, anxiety and self harm but I have been clean for about 2 years until just recently. I just get so stressed and my chest starts to hurt. They aren’t as bad as they were 2 years ago (Put me in hospital) but I’m worried I will get to that point again.
It feels so good to lay in bed at night and turn on game grumps and just truly RELAX. I usually end up falling asleep with it on and have crazy grump dreams haha. It just takes me away from all the stuff going on and helps me stay calm and not do anything stupid and makes me smile! I wish I could be friends with all of them!
SO YEAH, THANKS GUYS LOVE YOU K BYE this took me a long time to get the balls to click "submit" D:
